What I Wished For

I suggested to some fellow teachers and administrators that we re-organize our English 12 curriculum into a series of ten week classes, more like college classes. I won't go into all the reasons, but I was a little surprised when it was met with so much approval that we are now planning it for next year. And guess who is doing the work! (I do have help, obviously.) Anyway... the following sentences are from various assignments, but as always, these are real sentences taken from student work. My comments are in ( ).

- Billy was a "date monster" he would pray on women.

- ...he is still reeking the benefits.

- ...the best power of all was that she could see into the feature.

- On one spring day in Las Angeles. (Anyone ever been to Las Angeles?)

- ...elementary students will be able to live the best live they can possibly live.

- Situations when assisted suicide is there, is very tender. (What?)

- Penn Yan School should wear uniforms. (The students can wear what they want though.)

- A male dog was brought in by the owner of a puppy mill with prolapsed reproductive parts. (Whose reproductive parts now?)

- Sex ed. classes prevent teenagers from pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, and gives teenagers reasons to stay absent. (I guess they're home practicing what they learned in sex ed class.)

- STDs are becoming more popular in high schools. (Either she meant "common," or teenagers are bragging about some weird things.)

- ...causing people to live their lives in complete horrification. (How dreadful.)

- The game of football is simple, but has many rules.

- Smoking has been increasingly becoming one of the higher results of death. (One reason not to die: you might start smoking.)

- ...the economy has flocculated.

- A major component of capital punishment is the death penalty. (Indeed.)

- Hitler's actions ended in 1945 when he took his own lives. (He was a cate with 9 lives.)

- This issue has become an increasingly talked about and debated issue across the world the issue.

- Did everybody forget what Muslim is? (I guess maybe.)

- John Proctor's first mistake was gratifying Abigail's lust for his flesh. (Well put.)

- The Reverend feels even more guilt for the lies which were put to death.

- John showed his true courage when he straight-up told the court that he was a lecher. (Yup, he did it straight-up, not bent over.)

Se you next time.

J

Heroes (And a Few Villains)

Some of my seniors read selections of Beowulf, and their final assignment was to "update" the epic. They had to come up with a hero who represented our culture's values and describe his deeds, etc. Some of them fell back on comic book heroes, and some choose real people, while others invented their own heroes. Here is a quick list of the mundane, the weird, and the funny heroes they came up with:

- Superman

- Batman

- Michael Jordan

- Shaquille O'Neil

- Brad Pitt (who battles the evil media)

- Sly Stallone

- Average Joe

- The Beauty Fairy

- Spartacus the Professional Bowler

- Transformo

- the Comatose Kid (who battles Obesity)

- the Gamernater (who battles the Fitness Queen)

- Captain Fluffy and Captain Neon (who battle the Evil Fartknocker)

- Super Hero Guy

- Mr. Apology

- The Golden Knight (who quits hero work after he gets paid)

- Otterphant (half otter, half elephant)

If nothing else they were entertaining to read!

J

Long Enough

I am unable, because of the district's web filter, to access my blog from school. You know, because of all its objectionable content. I finally remembered to bring home my notes so I could type this up. A quick aside: my students often include in their introductions meaningless statements of the obvious. For example, in a Compare / Contrast essay they will write something like, "While these two things are different, they are also the same." Or in a personal narrative they might write, "Everyone has parents." It's like they need someone next to them who can say, "Duh, really?" every time they write some meaningless drivel just to fill space. Kind of like the drivel of the last few sentences of this blog. Anyway, as always, these are sentences taken from student work, unedited, and my comments are in ( ).

- Reading and writing play hand in hand with each other. (How nice of them.)

- Without the thesis, the key idea and writing can not be well written.

- Grendel is afraid of Beowulf because he has never seen a man who has been able to out strengthen him.

- ...other than smoking, I knew of no other factor that could have triggered her stroke. (Must have been the decades of smoking then. Go figure.)

- No linger was the room filled with fake light.

- My parents are loving, hard-working people with gray hairs in their forties. (If their gray hairs are 40, how old are his parents?)

- I experienced a great change within my mental ways of thinking. (Department of Redundancy Department)

- Dimmesdale took an oth of celibusy. (Well, he did get busy.)

- He and Hester had adultry.

- Dimmesdale held the stance of a Reverend. (That is a hard stance to be in for too long.)

- Beowulf has massive amounts of honor. (Honor out the wazoo, really.)

- I always suspect him to win.

- His heroicness effect simpathy for him.

- Emotions are feelings in which others can't see. (Uh huh, sure they are.)

- When Beowulf goes to die he is all like I'm going to die in pride. (And then the dragon was like, Step off dude! And Beowulf was all, You step off!...)

I should have more very soon. My stack of papers to be graded grows by the day.

J