Help!

Before I get to the sentences, two pet peeves to mention. 1. I don't put a lot of sentence fragments in these posts because they aren't "funny," but they are annoying and prevalent. Fragmented sentences reveal fragmented thought. 2. My students overuse the verb "help," often using it to vaguely replace a clearer verb they can't be bothered to think up. What does it mean to "help the environment?" Yet the sentence will have no other verb to indicate what we are to help the environment do. Anyway, to the sentences; as always, these are from student work and my comments are in ( ).

- The court system has to find a way to deter future crimes committed by youth. (Shouldn't we deter the youth and not the crime?)

- Marilyn Monroe's modeling career was at an all time high.

- Talking could become a peace of mind feeling for both parties involved.

- ... then while wearing a pair of rubber gloves, the needle is placed in an autoclave. (Never mind what an autoclave is, he has a needle that can wear gloves!)

- ... cars that run on energy... (As opposed to my car, which runs on positive thinking.)

- When one exercises it enhances many assists of health.

- When an individual is active it helps them having a good mental and emotional aspect on life. (How is your aspect on life?)

- One specific group in society would be students of all ages. (Yes, very specific.)

- If you think your going to do poorly you might actually will.

- Americans are on the decline in the world's industry.

- The kidney and liver are important organs, in the human body, for the need of survival in life.

- People did crime even before artists singed about it. (This sentence is a crime.)

- When a person demonstrates weight control... (Ta Da! Weight control!)

- The number of people that can vote in the United States has grown incredulously over the past hundred years.

- (This I saw on a sign in the hall advertising a competition between classes.) Win the covenant class disco ball! (Is it the same disco ball that God gave unto Moses signifying that his were the chosen people?)

- As the saying goes, "laughing releases endorphins, endorphins make you happy." (I love that old saying; mom used to say that all the time.)

Happy Holidays!!

J

Oh, the Woes

I am in the middle of reading two large stacks of rough drafts. Two things that continue to haunt my existence as I read: 1) redundancy; 2) meaningless statements / statements of the obvious. You can imagine the fun when the two are combined. It happens most often in introductions; by far the most B.S. shows up in the first paragraph. They seem to have no clear idea how to get into an essay and just write whatever mindless drivel they can to make up a brief paragraph. Then they repeat it all in the conclusion, because they have no idea how to get out of an essay either. And my efforts at teaching them achieve only moderate success. Anyway, as always, these are real sentences from student work, and my comments are in ( ).

- The hero status these infamous stars are receiving is a disgust today's society.

- If anyone of a different religion was located at the spot in question then problems would be less of a fuss being made. (This paper was about the "ground zero mosque"... if it was about anything.)

- STDs are becoming more common in high schools and young adults. (I hope your high school doesn't have an STD.)

- This would also give people more of a pride in what they have because they have errand it.

- Homer and the Odyssey wrote original Greek epic poems.

- Mourning without coffee is like sleep.

- Nature to Emerson is inspired by Nature. (Redundant and meaningless!)

- Nature is a very important aspect of society. (They just have no idea what words like "society" actually mean. Their indiscriminate use of words is simply aggravating.)

- Once the person is asleep doctors or people running the execution simultaneously push two buttons and are injected with a lethal substance that ultimately causes death. (So, what happens to the prisoner when the executioners have committed suicide?)

- Policemen stop crime from emerging. (Yes, we must keep crime hidden.)

- In the English language, there are many words that can have multiple meanings. (See what I mean about vacuous and meaningless statements of the obvious?)

- Happiness is the key in which how someone defines the level in how successful they really are.

- (Malcolm, in Macbeth, was) air to the throne.

- Different people do things differently. (Whoa, deep. I need a minute to process that life altering revelation... Ok, done.)

- Oil spills are caused by pollution. (That's not what I heard on the news...)

A final question: What is the difference between "die" and "die off?" For some students it is not enough that something die, it must "die off." They seem to think dying off is more dramatic and impacting phrase. I don't see it, but maybe it's just me. Until next time...

J