Regents Funnies

Every year in New York state high school juniors take the English Regents exam, a four essay test. The following sentences come from this year's (January) test. These quotes come from essays about public parks, about two pieces of literature that were on the test, and the critical lens essay for which they have to write about things they have read. As always, my comments are in ( ).

- With obesity and such being so popular within the United States... (For some reason students insist on using the word "popular" to mean "common" or "widespread.")
- That is very full of trueness. (If this student was a Stephen Colbert fan he/she would know that the word is "truthiness.")
- Epidemics like heart disease, obesity, hypertension, and diabetes are arousing.
- In urban areas, such as cities... (Department of Redundancy Department strikes again.)
- As long as the earth has been alive...
- Nature is a essential part in a healthy, daily portion of life.
- A park would be vital for all living lives. (To the dead lives parks are not so vital.)
- Public parks should be developed because they do good for people as individuals and they also do good for people as wholes.
- The natural world has fostered the human race since humans were created.
- Public parks make people less likely to sit around all day.
- New York has Grand Central Park. (I've heard it's amazing.)
- ... the boy and the elderly man are not on the same page of understandment. (Neither are the teacher and the student.)
- This passage shows the setting of the boy.
- Imagery is a literary term that is tangible with the senses.
- The speaker is a boy who visits Whales. (The boy in the story was Italian and he took a vacation in Wales.)
- As a married man, John Proctor should not have committed treason. (But it's ok if you're single.)
- The little boy has a very big imagery. (Or else he is just happy to see you.)
- Lenny (from Of Mice and Men) likes girls so he likes to rip their clothes and kind of get with them.
- Once oneself suggests to complicate life, then oneself must be prepared to complicate oneself. (Sounds complicated.)

Next week is winter break for us and I have stacks of papers to grade. Stay tuned.

Jeremiah