On the Fallacy of Grades

I could say a lot on this topic, but I would like to offer a short and simple example of how the idea that we can actually grade learning and real thought is laughably ridiculous.  I assigned my College English students to read two sonnets by Shakespeare, numbers 18 and 130.  Sonnet 18 begins, "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" and is all about how amazingly beautiful the woman is.  Sonnet 130 begins, "My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun," and describes how unattractive his mistress is, but ends, "And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare / As any she belied with false compare."  That day I put on the board this "Quiz" question with no stipulation as to length or format:

Ladies: Which poem would you rather have written about you?
Gents: Which poem would you give to your lady?
Explain.

The following is a response written by one of the gents:
"I see the  meaning in sonnet 130.  It shows honesty and unclouded sight.  However, I feel that my love is more extravagant like sonnet 18.  I would be completely drowned in foolish adoration which washes aside all flaws so that only the best can be seen.  The perfection depicted in the lines of sonnet 18 are what I would see in the woman I love.  Honestly, my lady in particular would probably be more accepting of 130, but I wouldn't give her anything but 18 because it is representative of how I feel, not necessarily how she really is."

How does one give this an "objective grade?"  It's a good answer.  It reveals an understanding of the poetry.  It reveals a connection to the poetry that goes beyond cursory reading.  It reveals a willingness to grapple with ideas.  It reveals honesty and self-knowledge.  Can any of those things be quantified?  Sure, I could grade him on things like the organization and development of the paragraph, or the number of specific references to the works; but who cares about those things if they were to come with no evidence of all the qualities previously mentioned?  And if I were to take this response as the "100%" against which other answers might be measured, how could I scale others against it?  What would constitute a response that was 85% as honest as this one, or only 70% as connected?  How do I measure, on a scale of 100, whatever that means, how well any student has understood these poems?  None of the things that matter can be graded, and most of the things we grade in school are the things the students forget quickest, truthfully because they are the least important to life.

I gave that response a 100.  Because I have to give it something.  I do not yet teach in a district that will let me get away with not giving grades, though the idea of not giving any grades is one for another time. However, we ought to realize that Oscar Wilde was right: "Education is an admirable thing.  But it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught."  Far less can it be graded.

J