Thanksgiving? Already?

Well, time has flown this school year, and I haven't added a post. It's not for want of material. In any event, let's get right to it. As always, these are real sentences from student work, and my comments are in (    ).

- Since pre-school teachers have implemented reading into students' everyday lives.
- The vision of the touchdown area in a football player's eyes. (End zone; it's called the end zone.)
- He wore the veil during his preaches.
- Thoreau was an abolishener...
- Abby is still convinced that Proctor lovers her.
- The narrator is thirsting himself with self-torture. (Redundancy much?)
- ... performers who perform acts of disgusting acts... (Wow; double the redundancy.)
- Many people are familiar with the word based off of what they most generally use it in terms of or how they generally hear it as in terms of usage. (Sure. I follow.)
- ... a disrupter of the piece.
- Abby wanted to be in relations with John Proctor.
- John's husband Elizabeth...
- I can't thesis. (That may be the least of your worries.)
- Poe uses the frazes... (phrases)
- it means imagine in archaic. (This student thought "archaic" was a foreign language.)
- This makes it so Elizabeth because john said he was with other people when he was alone with her.
- Rev. Hale lost complete self-confidence in himself. (As opposed to self-confidence in...?)
- I have always been an Advocated reader.

And finally...
- Home is the place where someone feels themselves the most.

That's your business, I think.

J

Rate and Review

Every June I give my students surveys about the year... and then share here some of my favorite responses. Before I get to them, two quick notes. First, I told one class that I hated it in college when someone in a literature class would gush about how something we had read "worked on so many levels!" It always seemed to me to be a meaningless, pseudo-intellectual comment. Can you pick one of those levels and offer us some actual insight? A bunch of the students in that class then wrote on their surveys that they liked a particular work we read this year because it "works on so many levels!" I hate them. 

Second note: though I will not be copying any of these comments below, many of my students wrote that they like how often we get "off topic" in English class. This always amuses me. I don't think we really go off topic often. Rather, we (or I) discuss ideas and issues raised by the literature, and some students perceive this as "going off topic." But if we are reading The Great Gatsby, and we discuss materialism, are we really off topic? (Besides, I often try to connect those "off topic" conversations back to the literature at hand, which I hope helps them understand the literature "on another level!") Anyway...

I will list the (generic) questions and under each some responses, which may come from any of my five classes. My students were all juniors and seniors. As always, my comments are in (    ).

What was your favorite work we read this year and why?

- "The Tell-Tale Heart:" it was the most interesting work I actually read. 

- The Crucible because it was in class and easy.

- Ethan Frome because of the cat, and his purpose in the book. He... is an evil hench-cat. (I wish my dog was a hench-dog.)

- I really enjoyed The Great Gatsby because I liked T. S. Eliot's writing style. (I like Eliot as well, but...)

- Lord of the Flies because I actually read every page, and am proud of myself.

What was your least favorite work we read this year and why?

- Othello, I didn't like the morals.

- most of them

- Othello. I do not like plays at all. (Interesting, since your favorite work was The Crucible... a play.)

- A Separate Peace because all of the characters were high school idiots. (That might have been the original title.)

- Lord of the Flies: it jumped the fence very early. (The fence? It jumped the fence?)

Which of the papers did you enjoy writing the most? (College English only)

- The reflection paper, because it was about me!

What did you like most about English this year?

- I liked how we joked around most of the time but somehow still learned. (I strive to entertain.)

- Doing this end of year survey. (At least you went out on a high note?)

- Mr. Chaffee's sass. (Didn't know I had any.)

- I could knit. (Yes, I let her knit. But then under what she didn't like she wrote, "You're mean." Hey, I let you knit!)

What did you like least about English this year?

- The stories I didn't like.

- Having the class first period was a little rough because I was not fully ready to start the school day. (Have you tried "sleeping at night?")

What are one or two things you have learned in English this year?

- Nothing because I was barely here. (At least you have identified the problem.)

- don't bring / use your cell phone

- Standardized tests are bad. (Yeah, I get on my soapbox about that a lot.)

- "based off of" is wrong, it is "based on" (Now go teach the world!)

- Mr. Chaffee is the HARDEST grader. (I have a reputation to uphold.)

- It was somewhat nice getting into reading again. I missed reading.

- I learned that it is important to read what is assigned to you as homework. (Considering this came from a senior, it took long enough to learn.)

- I learned that every part of a work has meaning and significance. You can't just examine a plot summary and say you understand a work. (Preach!)

On a scale of one to ten, how hard was this class?

- 7.5, the regularity of papers is hard for a lazy person to get used to.

On a scale of one to ten, how much effort did you put into school this year? Explain.

- 3, i don't like doing work

Do you have any suggestions about how to make English class better?

- Give better grades. (Earn them.)

"Bonus:" Is there anything else you'd like to say on any topic whatsoever?

- Yes, i'd like to get through class without a certain someone interrupting. (Since you wrote this on the last day, it may be too late.)

Well, that is all for this year. See you in the fall.

J

No More Teachers! No More Books!

I meant to get to this last week, but time got away from me. This is the last post for this school year of student mishaps. There will be one more post of comments from the "End of Year" surveys I ask my students to complete. As always, my comments are in (    ).

- ...who won a lot of money from the people on the secrete committee. (How do you get on the secrete committee? I assume sweat and tears?)

- The family gets into an unexpected car accident. (As opposed to the planned accidents.)

- Robert Frost uses the use of someone traveling...

- Whenever he'd talk, It's almost as if he's swooning someone. 

- He fist punched her. (Did he then foot kick her as well?)

- More often than not there are multiple different interprets of one piece of work.

- The poem "The Unknown Citizen," by W. H. Auden, is a moderate poem. (He did write some extremist poems, though.)

- He starts to acquire an alcohol problem. 

- He begins to hear a low, dull quick sound that begins to paranoe him. (Spellcheck didn't catch that?)

- The conch no longer ceased to exist. (I'm so confused.)

- Ralph's characterization is pushed and questioned.

- Kino doesn't think about the consonquensizes of his actions. (Wow, spellchecker missed that, too?)

- After a few in counters... (You mean "encounters;" unless there are also out counters, I guess.)

- John Steinbeck wrote many book. (He write book good. He uses words.)

- ... the villagers gain up on Kino.

- Ethan and Mattie are sitting by the ire together. (My grandma and your grandma, sitting by the ire!)

- Students who may want to take a science or technology can also study even deeper into that field by apprenticizing a job. (I remember when I was a new apprenticizer...)

- During 11th grade there were many works of literature that showed the class everything. (Well, looks like 12th grade is a little unnecessary, no?)

- The protagonist makes many choice decisions.

- In many works of literature, topics and themes play hand-in-hand.

I leave you on a bit of a down note. This final pearl of wisdom comes from a final exam:

- Hopes and dreams ruin lives.

That's right, kids. Beware those hopes and dreams.

J

Truthly

Yup, truthly. That is a word a student of mine used in a paper. I assume it is somehow related to "truthiness," the word Stephen Colbert coined which eventually made it into Webster's. Well, truthly it has been too long since I have posted, so let's get to the rest of the fun. As always, these sentences are from student work, and my comments are in (    ).

- As teenagers self a steam is always tricky. (Sure it is; you don't want to get burned.)
- When he is on the merge of dying...
- (Macbeth) worried that Banquo would get suspension of his reign.
- Macbeth hires three murders to kill Banquo.
- The only reason to kill Duncan is Macbeth's ambition for the throne due to ambition. (Department of Redundancy Department.)
- Macbeth murdered King Duncan in a cowardly was.
- Lady Macbeth is a women.
- Lady Macbeth becomes more physical and involved with her plans of becoming queen. (I am not sure how to take that.)
- Lady Macbeth wants to get rid of her feminine weakness because she believes it is weak. (Department of Redundancy Department.)
- Iago is... giving Othello the oppression that he cares for him.
- Desdemona and Emilia are similar and different in different ways. (That's deep?)
- ... a woman moving, trying to get out of the confinds of the wallpaper.
- Iago calls his wife names such as foolish and wrench. (I think you mean wench. I think.)
- Social media: killer of social stills. (And writing skills, apparently.)
- People are more judged mental to others over social media.
- ... the freedmen enjoys all of lives offerings.
- This shows how cowardice Peyton Farquhar is.
- She found console in writing.
- He portrays (the rich) as vacant and carless.
- (She) milks cows and sows. (No, she sews. She does not milk pigs.)
- So really if everyone started being reasonable human beings this could all be avoided. (But then the stories would be boring.)

Happy spring!

J

Commence Semester Two

So, it is the first week of second semester, and I am raring to go. And by "raring to go" I mean "I could easily have dozed off during 5th period study hall today." Seriously, I'm tired and I don't know why. I can't blame the winter blues because it is February and I have not had to clear my driveway once this winter. Hopefully the student funnies will revive me. As always, these are from student work, and my comments are in (    ).

- ... it never usually doesn't occur. (Bad grammar always often does occur.)
- (Soccer) deffenders are taking shots off the head from a variety of differences.
- If one were to ask America stands for...
- Some students may be better at curtains skills. (Me, I have mad venetian blind skills.)
- Holmes visits the home of the crime.
- Holmes and Watson adventure to the woman's house. (No real error, I just liked this one.)
- ... like a woman who has had her own way to make the world.
- She went in and herd voices. (What, like cows?)
- He told her she would be feed the massive. (I have no idea.)
- People assume that the wealthy have no worries due to having everything at their disposable.
- He was feeling wild rover over him.
- I knew that my writing schools could use a lot of improvement. (Yup, they could.)
- I am not one to bloat about myself. (I should hope not.)
- Winston was never been interviewed...
- Sherlock Holmes helps women who is in great help.
- (A paper title.) The Injustice Death of Mr. McCarthy
- ... many characters attempted to create their own illusions into their reality.
- (In answer to the question, "How many chapters did you read?) B

That's right: B. He read B chapters. How many did you read?

Until next time...

J