It's Not Important

A student drops a quote into her paper and follows the quote with: "This quote isn't that important..." Then why, pray tell, would you put it in your paper? There are times when I get the feeling students choose quotes by dropping a finger on a random page. But when I came to that line I knew it was time to post again. Here are some recent beauties, and as always, my comments are in (   ).

- I hopefully will land a job making pretty dent money. (We teachers don't even make dent money!)
- The definition of lazy according to Oxford Langues... (...is not spelling "language" correctly?)
- After years of suffrage, the 19th amendment was passed so women finally had the right to vote. (Perhaps look up "suffrage" in the Oxford Langues...)
- They would act sexual to their mates for entertainment and out of love. (I don't want to remember what this paper was even about.)
- heath: a tract of waist land 
- That is how William Wordsworth poetry his feelings towards nature to reveal the theme of the poem. (I always poetry my feelings. It's good for you.)
- Homer is homosexual in the way that he only likes men. (Is there another way?)
- Adrienne Rich's poem "Living in Sin" delves into the concepts of life. (Specific!)
- Nature is a natural beautiful place. (Department of Redundancy Department)
- They are all scared to sleep and be awake at night. (Well, which is it?)
- The boys have resulted in violence with each other. (As most boys do.)
- In the play The Importance of Being Earnest, Jack expresses his love and marriage ideas in the play. (Is this one of those "a play within a play" situations?)
- Throughout the novel, both of these characters have a tragic death. (And a long one, it seems.)
- The shelters were... not made with much insulin to keep them warm.
- The boys rallied to the sound of the couch. (What kind of sound does a couch make? The couch says...)

More coming before the end of June, I am sure.

J

So, Where Was I?

 I recently let slip in class the existence of this blog, though I was not entirely certain it would still be up. Some students immediately went and found it, and then I felt the need to update it. One student even shared it with parents. That's pressure. Then I saw that I had an already-typed and unpublished post... from several years ago. Well, I published it, and now on to this new(er) one. As always, my comments are in (   ).

- With the technogues I've acquired... (Where do you get those? I been meaning to get some.)

- Although I found Mr. Chaffee's criticism harsh, irritating, dramatic, and over the top, I have come to learn that all of those criticisms were made in the hopes of making me a better writer. (I feel so seen!)

- I have experienced an increase in growth this year. (Your parents should have had a talk with you about this...)

- ...a large majority of my sentences are written in the passive voice. (Like this one.)

- The writing I've done is a reflection of my strengths and weaknesses based on the various pieces of writing I wrote to become a successful writer. (I spy one weakness.)

- But Banquo thinks the witches are evil and he is taking percasions.

- ...being able to remorse less.

- supposably (Yes, this was written unironically.)

- Lady Macbeth was going through a lot mentally. (I'll say.)

- These experiences are impacted by how other characters perspectives on certain ideas. (Yes, I see.)

- The narrator's mother continued to talk of the word girl. (Is the word girl a superhero?)

- She is slowly becoming more severe in her poor mental state.

- ... and that saliva is learning the lesson. (The character's name is Sylvia. This student wrote "saliva" instead of Sylvia twice on one page.)

- From the start of the play to the end of the play violence is shown throughout the play. (From the Department of Redundancy Department.)

- ...the real life experiences that Gilman experienced. (The Department of Redundancy Department: please hold. Call volume is high today.)

- ...the feelings she feels. (The Department of Redundancy Department: your call will be answered in the order it was received.)

- ...which are all signs of her unwell.

What are the signs of your unwell? Another stack of essays is one of mine!

J

Backlog

While I have been lazy about publishing on this blog, I do have several notepads of jewels from student work. So I am reaching back to last (school) year and mixing in some recent gems just to catch up a bit. There will be more to come, if I can remember to sit down and type. As always, my comments are in (    ).

- If a doctor were to mess up... they can get sewed. (I'm in stitches?)
- Shania Twain was a poor privileged child. (Aww, too bad?)
- Today people can say that their economy or the way somebody is sick. (They can say that, I guess, if they want to.)
- The word toughness is the state of being tough.
- The human body can endure a lot of pain and uncomforting.
- Clergyman: a man that is very wealthy. (Not in my experience.)
- O Caption! My Caption!
- Ella and Rachel died their hair.
- ... one of the most greatest music schools in the country. (I mean, the much bestest!)
- Collage English (The name of the class is College English. But I would take a Collage English class.)
- These numbers are awestrucking.
- "Double spacing saves lives."
- Henri le Clerc was a soldier during the French Castle.
- There is no way to accurately correlate blond hair with being dumn. (But anecdotal evidence suggests...)
- Thoreau wanted to live alone in nature for deeper reasons.
- Emerson theorecized his ideas about nature.
- When I finally got myself organized with ruff drafts. (Ruff drafts are required in obedience school.)
- She means grave stones of the deseased.
- Huck has reached a high of wiseness and good morals. (It's like a runner's high.)
- Penn Yan Central School District should be required to where uniforms.
- Macbeth was one of the least awful plays we've read in high school. (High praise.)
- Lady Macbeth... lacks the love portion toward Macbeth.
- Lady Macbeth forces others to act how she invasions.
- In the story "A Mystery of Heroism" the bucket symbolizes something. (Care to take a guess?)
- Naturalism is starting to take place.
- The old timer's advice came in handy when it was too late.
- ... and perhaps dig themselves out of the whole they are in.
- She uses her mind to think of crazy things.
- The boys follow Jack blindlessly.
- She was left a large some of money.

I would give you some advice, but it would probably only come in handy when it's too late. So you're on your own.

J

Crucible Papers Are a Crucible

So I have a collection of what I think are heretofore unpublished lines from student papers, quizzes, and tests about Arthur Miller's The Crucible. None can compare to my all time favorite, the paper that was titled: "The Testes of John Proctor." She meant "Tests," or else the paper didn't really deliver on the title. As always, my comments in (    ).

- 7 of her 8 babies died in infantry. (They enlisted young.)
- I have sympathy for Tituba because she is a scrape goat.
- John forgets adultery and this is significant because Elizabeth tried to remind him about irony. (You should always remember irony.)
- (Abigail) is psychologically maladjusted, which causes her to comit crazy behavior.
- Abigail was a huge blame for the unhappy ending.
- Abigail's hope that she with be with John Proctor... is shone brightly.
- "Because it is my mane!" (The Crucible meets The Lion King?)
- In the crucible that test the characters John Proctors patience gets tested. (Right, got it.)
- People are not always quilty. (Uh, guilty?)
- He becomes to be self aware of himself. (Department of Redundancy Department here.)
- John had no self respect for himself. (Yes, Department of Redundancy Department. How may we assist or help?)
- Danforth ask(s) John to confess or to befoul with hell.
- Abigail recalled the physically involved times she spent with John Proctor. (There's a new euphemism.)
- All but one child of hers has died or not lived. (Thank you for calling the Department of Redundancy Department.)
- Elizabeth had trusting issues.
- Abby initially started in the beginning casting spells. (Department of Redundancy Department. How may I direct your sentence?)
- She has the ice of heart to do it.
- John Proctor through out the book showed change through is character.
- John Proctor was a very dense and quiet man.
- ... a wide arrange of characters.
- The trials caused many lives of innocent people to die.
- ... they were discovered dancing in the woods in Rev. Parris' house. (Big house.)
- (Abby) said Elizabeth made a voodoo doll to sabatosh her.

Here is hoping none of you get sabatoshed.

J

For Dumas, Wherever He May Be

A former student asked me via "social media" why I had not posted to this blog in a while. I have no good answer aside from, "I have been lazy." So, for Mr. Dumas, I present my favorite responses from last year's end-of-the-year student surveys. The questions are in bold, and my comments are in (   ). I'll post again soon. I have stacks of essays to grade. If you haven't read a lot of Poe, there may be a spoiler...

What was your favorite work we read and why?

- The one where the ape killed the girls. I was so mad that it was a monkey that was the murderer that I am sure I will never forget that story. Although I can’t remember the name of it. (Lasting impact.)

- The Great Gatsby because it was very interesseting and fun to read. (Interesting is, I think, what we are going for there.)

What was your least favorite work we read and why?

- The one with the monkey because why would there be a monkey? Like who is gonna guess that?

- The Crucible. Twas confusing. (Tis true.)

- The Crucible because Abby ruined it.

- The short stories because they weren’t short.

- The Crucible because it was about whiny teenagers blaming people for things they didn’t do. (Hit too close to home, did it?)

- Everything from the Modernist era because everything from the Modernist era is boring and pointless.

- Ethan Frome was my least favorite work because the book itself angered me. The characters were all pathetic and the story itself annoyed me. However, I have just now realized that I don’t like the characters because they relate to a lot of people in my life. (There's an epiphany for you.)

What did you like most about English class?

- I really don’t like much about this class.(Nothing? Throw me a bone! Something...)

- It was a class of all girls. (See * below)

What did you like least about English class?

* - It was a class of distracting girls.

- The short quizzes downed my grade. (So didn't you're grammer.)

- Quizzes, essays, mostly all the stereotypical disliked things in English.

On a scale of 1-10, how much effort did you put into this class and why?

- 7: I don’t understand a lot of this so I didn’t try very hard. (How very de rigueur.)

- Considering my grades, I’d say a six. (I'd say less.)

- 6; only when I wanted to. (Which was 60% of the time?)

In this class I learned:

- that I cannot get away with murder. (Detective fiction class...)

- everyone has secrets.

- That no matter how careful you are Sherlock could figure out you did it.

- You can live without your phone.

- How to be on topic and off topic at the same time. (It's a skill.)

- Never take out your phone in class.

- To write an essay in a day. (Wrong lesson.)

- I learned how to write a three page essay in a day. (Again, wrong lesson.)

- Mr. Chaffee knows that I edited the format of my papers.

- That college level classes are hard if you don’t show up.

- I have learned not to watch Big & Chunky while working on projects and how important rough drafts are. (I do not want to know what Big & Chunky is. I really don't.)

- That every piece of each novel, story, or poem can be openly discussed. Everything deserves discussion. I also learned how to properly head an essay. (There's two ends of a spectrum.)

 

Do you have any suggestions about how to make the class better?

- Less essays, but we know that ain’t changing. ("Fewer," not "less." And no, it ain't.)

When did your senior-itis kick in?

- The 2^nd day of high school; the first day was pretty chill.

Here's hoping you have more than one "pretty chill" day. Back soon with lines from student papers. I have a lot of essays about The Crucible, which usually produces some hilarity.

J

Winter Blahs Again

It's midterm week, and I have a minute to post an update. I give vocabulary quizzes any time I assign poetry for reading homework. I take five words out of the poem(s) and they have to define those words as they are used in the poem. For homework they can use a dictionary and make a cheat sheet to use on the quiz. Many of them neglect to do so. A few weeks ago a student wrote the following on a quiz: "goads - god-like toads." If only. As always, these are sentences from student work, and my comments are in (    ).

- ...the house crumbles to peaces. (The hippies would be glad.)
- School is a big factor that affects teenagers and how much sleep they are consuming at night.
- This puts teens in a cloud of haze. (Is it a purple haze?)
- Their ships wrecked and they all drowneded.
- She got eloped to Othello.
- Modern smart phone technology reaps havoc on the ability for students to learn. (Were you using one to write this sentence?)
- Iago's level of evil is personified?
- Iago can be protrade as both.
- He supposivly got it from another girl.
- Our society has advanced far technologically due to the new technology designed for all aspects of our lives. (Technological advancement is caused by technology itself. Hmmm.)
- Many sexually active teenagers can attract STDs or HIV.
- A doctor can keep everything a secrete. (Ew.)
- ...finding a cure to one of the most deadly things in the country cannot be found.
- After experiencing before wanted and chance like Jim. (No, I have no idea.)
- Neglect is a serious form of neglect. (Redundancy is a common type of redundancy.)
- ...she was defiantly dead. (She's dead, and she's not gonna take it anymore!)
- When something is misunderstood it (is) a failure to understand something correctly. (Imagine that.)
- They moved into the house that Gwenda spent time in when she was a kid by accident. (Is she an adult on purpose?)
- Little do Jackie shows up in Egypt. (Again, no, I have no idea.)

That is all for now. Happy winter...

J

Way Late

I did not post in June, as I usually do, comments from my students' end of year surveys, so... better late than never. As a side note, many students every year write on their surveys something about how "off topic" we get in Mr. Chaffee's English class. This always makes me chuckle... We discuss the topics raised by the literature, which is kind of the point of literature. And it is always fun when I can bring the "digression" back around to the work at hand; some of them get this look in their eyes: "Crap! We were on topic the whole time!" Besides, without digression, Byron would have been lost. Anyway, here is a sampling of the wit and wisdom of my English students, and as always my comments are in (     ).

What was your favorite work we read in this class and why?
- "The Masque of the Red Death;" it had a lot of imagery and was about death which I enjoy. (Then Poe is for you!)
- The Crucible, because it was the most interesting. Everyone fought with each other and 90% of the characters died. The survivors were psychos.
- I enjoyed Huckleberry Finn because of the anarchist sentiments.
- The Great Gatsby, because I liked hearing about rich people and their problems.

What was your least favorite work this year and why?
- The Crucible was my least favorite work because everyone took the word of a liar and people who didn't need to die, did. (Pretty realistic, no?)
- I did not like poetry because the poems made you really have to think about what the poet is trying to say. (It's no fair when you have to think.)
- Short stories and poetry are never that lit. (This student made a note that she would be looking for this on my blog. Well, here it is. Hope it's "lit.")
- A Separate Peace because the story was told by a horrible character.

What did you like most about English class?
- Your jokes or when you sniff markers while waiting for us to respond. (Sadly, the markers are nontoxic.)
- Mr. Chaffee's sarcasm. (It's always flowing.)
- I like how we were given more freedom in deciding what to write about.

What are one or two things you learned in this class?
- that Poe married his cousin which isn't apparently incest
- You need to work to pass.
- Mostly how books are better (than movies) and how to use swear words correctly. (Glad I could help.)
- There is more to novels than just the plot and the endings. There's lessons in between the lines that teach the reader universal ideas.
- When to be serious and when to not always be serious.
- That some books can be good you just have to sit down and read it.
- I really have no clue. I'm prolly gonna fail college.
- ... the importance of time management.
- Sometimes you have to suck it up and read really boring literature to get good grades.
- That writers have a very bad view on society generally and that they harness that view very artistically.
- Two and a half pages does not count as three. And no pictures for titles.
- Sparknotes = bad    Book = good
- What I learned in English 101 was (That was it. Glad I made an impact.)
- Taking pictures of pages in a textbook is way better and easier than taking the textbook home.
- I learned that teachers are allowed to swear to the students as long as they say "pardon my French" first. (I don't remember that lesson. Never happened.)

Did the teacher give you enough feedback on papers? Explain.
- I think you gave me the perfect amount of feedback; not enough to make me cry but enough to make me grow as a writer.
- Yes, there was plenty of green ink on my papers.

On a scale of one to ten, how hard was this class? Explain.
- 2; I just didn't bother to do my work. (I noticed.)

On a scale of one to ten, how much effort did you put into this class and why?
- 6; you've met me, I think you know why

Do you think you became a better writer this year? Explain.
- I certainly learned that I write better when I'm writing about topics that interest me.
- I definitely became a better writer because I was able to write about things I care about. (A pattern develops.)
- Yes, because each new paper's rough draft had less green ink and I didn't struggle as much.

(College English only) Which of the six papers was the hardest to write and why?
- The reflection paper was the hardest because we had to go back and pretend our essays had improved from the beginning of the year.

Is there anything else you would like to say about any topic whatsoever?
- No there is not, but I will say everything pretty much connects to Gatsby. (So, no, but yes.)
- Procrastination is a cruel, cruel mistress, and if you get in bed with her you will catch her disease and it will kill you. (Uh... Very vivid.)
- Keep using The Scarlet Letter. Those kids must suffer as we did. (Hey! I like that book.)

That is all for now. As papers start rolling in there will be more posts.

J