The title of this post has nothing to do with the content. It's just been REALLY cold. Anyway, thanks to a fellow teacher for taking down some sentences from the Regents exam... I missed the grading. As always, these are sentences from student work, and my comments are in ( ).
- People usually litter because of their own behavior.
- Of the students who drive most are tired and not focused when driving into school.
- Poe... uses literality elements. (What are those exactly?)
- Smoking was band in public places.
- Although I am not a mother myself, nor have I ever had a child... (Just to make that clear.)
- According to the bureau labor of statistics the median annual wage was $86,410 in May of 20110. (Do they have a time machine?)
- Man are often surrounded by gourds of beautiful women.
- Need another sentence can't have a citation at the end of paragraph (In other words, this student made a note to herself and never went back to fix it!)
- The setting of "Of Mice and Men" is in the Silicon Valley. (It's the Salinas Valley, but ok.)
- Lennie wasn't the brightest crayon in the box.
- In Ray Bradbury's "To Kill a Mockingbird," Tob Robinson was accused of rapping a girl." (Where do I even start?)
- The citizens of Maycomb were thrown into a tizzy. (Well, I declare!)
- Curly's wife is very hot, but very trampy.
- So George, being the mature one, killed Lennie.
- Smoking kills around six billion people each year. (Wow. That's a lot!)
- A person who is a vegetarian or vegan also has improved indigestion. (I'll say!)
I am looking forward to February break when I can sit inside and complain about the cold.
J
The blogger is a high school English teacher. The blog is a randomly updated list of humorous sentences from student work. They say the strangest things. For the record, the intent here is purely lighthearted; I hope no egos are bruised in the creation of this blog.
2/6/13
12/13/12
Stumbling Toward Break
Here we go. As always these are from student work and my comments are in ( ).
- Some may say this is drab and dull existence to be to.
- They used salt to preserve the ears instead chemical perseveres.
- When acting upon his actions...
- He had to go on quests that tested his strength and cunningness.
- People who are born in socially will be as achieved as can be.
- It is very insulting to those who have an intitlectually disability. (Spell check at all?)
- (Holmes and Watson) realized that the father was killing his daughters after they were engaged with his snake. (That must be some good looking snake.)
- ...the firearm could back fire and put the hunter's lives in danger. (Hunters have nine lives, I guess.)
- Sherlock displays his soupier intelligence.
- Since the beginning of eternity...
- The poem hints at promiscuity which leads to immorality. (Yes, yes it does.)
- When students dress the way they want to it allows them to dress as they please. (Department of Redundancy Department Award.)
- A physician assistant works manly like most other doctors.
- Most people don't know that facts that it can have on people.
- Music videos have become over sexualized as they portray women in very sensual and suggestive manors. (Oh, those manor houses: so suggestive.)
- After getting caught once driving drink... (Were you, perhaps, writing drink?)
Until next time.
J
10/27/12
It's Almost November?
Wow, time has flown. Without any ado, we'll go straight to the sentences. As always, these are from student work and my comments are in ( ).
- The sun can cause cancer, why is it just cell phones? (Why indeed... wait, what?)
- Half the Franks were on the floor. (She meant "francs," as in French currency.)
- ...she battled cancer, ammonia...
- I said my peace.
- We sent out to walk the gorge trail that fallows close to the river.
- A mother slowly climbed up the latter.
- Acting and lying can affect people in similar ways yet they both can have different result or vice versa. (Covering all the bases.)
- For example, the NRA is a huge group the fund a support the right to carry and counsel a weapon. (1. I hope he doesn't have one; 2. What kind of counseling do guns need? Grief counseling?)
- ...take it for granite. (I wish this was a pun. It wasn't.)
- Ever since past times... (Ah, past times. I remember those days.)
- This is most common with the drug, heroine.
- Also women don't have to worry about getting the judgement about nursing in public.
- The clothes are of a much more conflicting matter to these jobs.
- Ski boots are generally plastic outsides with a soul on the inside. (Oh, my boots have a soul alright.)
- It is common for people to argue that alcohol is so to illegal drugs.
- Hitler instilled paranoia and gave speeches that memorized the people of Germany.
- This definition takes on a greater significance when interoperating the play The Crucible.
- All of these people frustrated John to great heights.
I, too, have been frustrated to great heights... and depths.
J
- The sun can cause cancer, why is it just cell phones? (Why indeed... wait, what?)
- Half the Franks were on the floor. (She meant "francs," as in French currency.)
- ...she battled cancer, ammonia...
- I said my peace.
- We sent out to walk the gorge trail that fallows close to the river.
- A mother slowly climbed up the latter.
- Acting and lying can affect people in similar ways yet they both can have different result or vice versa. (Covering all the bases.)
- For example, the NRA is a huge group the fund a support the right to carry and counsel a weapon. (1. I hope he doesn't have one; 2. What kind of counseling do guns need? Grief counseling?)
- ...take it for granite. (I wish this was a pun. It wasn't.)
- Ever since past times... (Ah, past times. I remember those days.)
- This is most common with the drug, heroine.
- Also women don't have to worry about getting the judgement about nursing in public.
- The clothes are of a much more conflicting matter to these jobs.
- Ski boots are generally plastic outsides with a soul on the inside. (Oh, my boots have a soul alright.)
- It is common for people to argue that alcohol is so to illegal drugs.
- Hitler instilled paranoia and gave speeches that memorized the people of Germany.
- This definition takes on a greater significance when interoperating the play The Crucible.
- All of these people frustrated John to great heights.
I, too, have been frustrated to great heights... and depths.
J
6/23/12
School's Out
Just a couple more sentences and some responses to this year's English 11E Year End Survey. As always, my comments are in ( ).
- Owning a gun comes with great responsibility because people can get hurt or seriously hurt from guns. (They're not deadly though, right?)
- The Red Badge of Courage and "In Another Country" are similar in many parts and different in others. (Insightful.)
...the emotions a soldier may indoor.
- Every novel and work of literature has a theme, some more than others. (I like books with more theme.)
- Each of these interpretations offers a new look and incite upon the play Hamlet.
- ...women are to be daunted upon.
What was your favorite work we read this year and why?
- Huck Finn, it's the only one I read completely. (Thanks for being in our advanced class.)
What was your least favorite work and why?
- Ethan From because you read a huge chapter and one thing happened.
What did you like the least about this class?
- I plead the 5th.
Did your teacher give you enough feedback on papers / tests / journals, etc?
- Yeah you helped me when I asked for it Mr. Chaffee. (Hey, he did ask for it.)
- Yeah, I mean he ripped them apart but explained how he ripped them apart. (Apparently "Yeah" is the new "Yes.")
Do you believe you improved as a writer this year? Explain.
- yes because... never mind. I don't know.
"Bonus:" Is there anything else you'd like to say on any topic whatsoever?
- parties rock (But not capital letters?)
- I like Bonuses!
- Peacocks are beautiful.
I only had ten students in 11E this year. Next year looks to be about the same. Three years ago I had twenty-one... Oh, well; Happy Summer.
J
- Owning a gun comes with great responsibility because people can get hurt or seriously hurt from guns. (They're not deadly though, right?)
- The Red Badge of Courage and "In Another Country" are similar in many parts and different in others. (Insightful.)
...the emotions a soldier may indoor.
- Every novel and work of literature has a theme, some more than others. (I like books with more theme.)
- Each of these interpretations offers a new look and incite upon the play Hamlet.
- ...women are to be daunted upon.
What was your favorite work we read this year and why?
- Huck Finn, it's the only one I read completely. (Thanks for being in our advanced class.)
What was your least favorite work and why?
- Ethan From because you read a huge chapter and one thing happened.
What did you like the least about this class?
- I plead the 5th.
Did your teacher give you enough feedback on papers / tests / journals, etc?
- Yeah you helped me when I asked for it Mr. Chaffee. (Hey, he did ask for it.)
- Yeah, I mean he ripped them apart but explained how he ripped them apart. (Apparently "Yeah" is the new "Yes.")
Do you believe you improved as a writer this year? Explain.
- yes because... never mind. I don't know.
"Bonus:" Is there anything else you'd like to say on any topic whatsoever?
- parties rock (But not capital letters?)
- I like Bonuses!
- Peacocks are beautiful.
I only had ten students in 11E this year. Next year looks to be about the same. Three years ago I had twenty-one... Oh, well; Happy Summer.
J
6/5/12
Bigger Batch
It's the end of the year, but I will save you all the "end-of-the-year" rant. All my seniors have senior-itis, state tests are coming, blah blah blah... As always, these are from student work and my comments are in ( ).
- Georgiana was a woman of thirty who was not the most attractive woman before she got married. (And after? She became a fox!)
- Losing her beliefs of normal in her life really didn't settle well. (Existential nausea.)
- Through "The Unknown Citizen" the author portrays the use of imagery.
- The speaker is minding his own businesses. (He owns several, I guess.)
- In boys lacrosse a player is alloyed to hit another player with his stick.
- When you examine the lyrics of songs they give meaning and some feelings.
- When it comes to opportunity people can learn from it when come to an education. (Sounds logical.)
- Guys are easier to please as well as not being very picky. (From the Department of Redundancy Department.)
- Every security guard has specific tasks; theft, substance abuse, employee theft, and white collar crimes. (That can't be right.)
- Wrestling can be easy if not difficult to some people.
- ...the images provoke emotion and meaning into the reader.
- Carving enables you to slow down as you gown a hill.
- A couple weeks after my injury I became depressed and just mopped around for months. (Floors must have been clean.)
- There are two men in... arm to arm combat.
- War is not all it's cracked out to be.
- Ever sense today's technology...
- The use of satire explains the love the characters felt for each other and how all there lies played a part in the situations. (This was the thesis...)
- Love is a feeling that can be felt by many throughout their life and is greatly published seriously, and with a comical side such as this book.
- (The poor) are too busy worrying about how to make end's meat. (Yes, but have you ever had really good end's meat? Succulent.)
Should be at least one more post before summer, or at least what we call summer here in New York, which starts about three months after everyone else is out of school. I leave you with this: a student who was in the In-School Suspension room (where I spend one period a day) asked about the novel To Kill a Mockingbird, "Is Scout a girl?" So, you didn't read that one. In an ironic twist he was completing a project on the website "fakebook," which allows students to create fake social media sites for literary characters. Oh technology, oh humanity.
J
4/19/12
Playing Detective
I have been teaching Detective Fiction this year. See if you can find the sentences from that class. As always, these are from student work and my comments are in ( ).
- After the fish ran away... (Those were some strange fish.)
- She dreams of being a hero who is coragus and brave.
- Eros usually occurs in the first stages of a romantic relationship between a man and women. (You bet it does.)
- (This was the title of a Definition paper) The Many Meanings and Uses of the Word Screw
- My impressions of (Sherlock) Holmes are that he is observant, intelligent, and slightly crazy.
- In the end life ends. (Forgot to take your Prozac today?)
- The story describes a young women's decent into insanity.
- Elisa only wishes that she wasn't straddled down by her own gender. (Did we read the same story?)
- In a plane the passenger isn't able to change its destination as easily as a driver in their own car. (Seems self-evident, but thanks for the reminder.)
- "The Yellow Wallpaper" through the dialogue through both the male and female perspective, and through symbolism.
- Her husband prescribed her a lay down cure. (It's the rest cure, but ok.)
- While they are praying the children get a little restless and the grandmother told them to go outside in Spanish. (I can only go outside in English, and sometimes in French.)
- Her future is not so hopefully.
- Sherlock Holmes is very perspective.
- Arthur Conan Doyle has written many stories with the repeating detective, Sherlock Holmes.
My 11E class just finished their magazine projects. As part of them the kids write their own brief "staff member biographies." One of them indicated that this particular student was the real "Most Interesting Man in the World," you know, from the ads. Anyway, he claimed of himself that he "made 'close' count in things other than horseshoes and hand grenades." I wonder if that means if you're close you can now get the cigar.
J
3/5/12
Congratulations
My uncle is a high school librarian in Maine; at least he is for a few more weeks. He will be retiring soon and, I assume, settling down to write a novel. I look forward to reading and editing it. (Bill, if you are reading this, I am serious. What else do we teachers have to do in the summer?) Anyway, congratulations and please, take me with you. To the sentences. As always, these are from student work and my comments are in ( ).
- The social network has become accustomed to a person using it in their everyday routine. (Warning: social networks are now sentient. Fortunately, they are accustomed to us.)
- Analytical righting (The name of the class is Analytical Writing.)
- Macbeth learns that Macduff was not born from a woman but was ripped from his mothers room.
- Lady Macbeth yearns for complete control over the Kingdome. (The former home of the NFL's Seattle Seahawks?)
- ...for all intensive purposes...
- Macbeth, with a little cohesion on his wives part, agrees to kill the king.
- He continues to listen to the three witches who tell the future in a very twisted manor. (It's where they live: Twisted Manor.)
- She also depicts about the blood.
- In the begging... (I have noticed this one a lot lately.)
- When the audience first meets Lady Macbeth she is trying to take away anything that makes her weak, even her feminist side.
- ...they suddenly come a crossed three women.
- The effects of guilt on Lady Macbeth is that she has a guilty conscious. (And her subconscious?)
- The witches helped in the destroyal of Macbeth and his life.
- Lady Macbeth is a very different kind of woman. (That's the understatement of the semester.)
- [The Macbeths] never spend time together in fun and wholesome ways. (They really needed a weekend at the Scottish Spa.)
- I couldn't see a stage production of Macbeth unless it was a Jimmy Neutron rendition of it.
Here's hoping for one more snow day before spring takes hold. It doesn't look promising.
J
- The social network has become accustomed to a person using it in their everyday routine. (Warning: social networks are now sentient. Fortunately, they are accustomed to us.)
- Analytical righting (The name of the class is Analytical Writing.)
- Macbeth learns that Macduff was not born from a woman but was ripped from his mothers room.
- Lady Macbeth yearns for complete control over the Kingdome. (The former home of the NFL's Seattle Seahawks?)
- ...for all intensive purposes...
- Macbeth, with a little cohesion on his wives part, agrees to kill the king.
- He continues to listen to the three witches who tell the future in a very twisted manor. (It's where they live: Twisted Manor.)
- She also depicts about the blood.
- In the begging... (I have noticed this one a lot lately.)
- When the audience first meets Lady Macbeth she is trying to take away anything that makes her weak, even her feminist side.
- ...they suddenly come a crossed three women.
- The effects of guilt on Lady Macbeth is that she has a guilty conscious. (And her subconscious?)
- The witches helped in the destroyal of Macbeth and his life.
- Lady Macbeth is a very different kind of woman. (That's the understatement of the semester.)
- [The Macbeths] never spend time together in fun and wholesome ways. (They really needed a weekend at the Scottish Spa.)
- I couldn't see a stage production of Macbeth unless it was a Jimmy Neutron rendition of it.
Here's hoping for one more snow day before spring takes hold. It doesn't look promising.
J
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