I have one last short list of students' sentences for this school year, but before I get to them I need to get something off of my chest. When we first got married my wife used to say "on accident" instead of "by accident." Long story short, she rarely does that anymore, and she stayed married to me, so it all worked out. My students frequently screw up another common idiom and it drives me crazy. They write or say "based off of" instead of "based on." Now this makes NO sense. If I have a pedestal, I cannot base the ornamental vase off of said pedestal. If I lay the foundation for a house, I cannot base my new abode off of my beautiful foundation. Henry David Thoreau did NOT say, "If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations somewhere close by so your castle can be based off of them!" A base is a thing we put things on! Oh, and those of you who say "based off from..." I just... I can't... Never mind. On to the sentences, and as always my comments are in ( ).
- In this case money takes presidents over social standing.
- There is always something important about a name, even if it is positive or negative.
- Many authors have written satirical works throughout the years. (Thanks for the update.)
- The title of Oscar Wilde's famous play The Importance of Being Earnest, seems to be cleverly titled. (What is the title of the title? I'm lost.)
- ...he has lost the idea of reality.
- Everything back then was religious. ("Back then" would be the Middle Ages.)
- ...leading them to be very stressfully people.
- Ethan lived on a farm with his parents which he sometimes worked. (If you ever want to get anything out of your parents you really do have to work them.)
- Jack believes that women are to be daunted upon. (Sounds unpleasant.)
That's it for the 2012 - 2013 school year in student writing! Coming very soon, comments from end of the year surveys.
J
6/13/13
5/19/13
Stumbling Toward June
Apparently some of my students have recently discovered this blog. That is surprising, since I don't advertise and the "stats" Google shows me do not suggest that this is a well trafficked site. Anyway, a note to any of my current students who may be reading this: "Hi, kids! Get back to work! How am I supposed to keep this thing going if you don't hand in your papers?"
There are some more classic examples this week from the Department of Stating the Obvious. As always, these are from student papers, names have been withheld to protect theilliterate guilty, and my comments are in ( ).
- Poems are often difficult for some to understand because they always have "deeper meanings."
- Every writer uses different elements in their writing to develop their theme.
- This line conveys extreme imagery. (Totally. It's like the X-games of imagery up in here.)
- Themes of poems have always been the messages that the author tries to get across to the audience. (I'll take note of that.)
- ...killing him on the stop.
- Often times, poems are ways for authors to get a point across about something. (Could you be more vague?)
- The sea allows as star to be navigation while a large ship steers and it is a beautiful sight with mystery. (Is this haiku?)
- Lady Bracknell also bases Cecily on her look.
- The structure of this poem is surely in iambic meter and is a quatrain.
- Mr. Tregennis is a self-contained man.
- Mr. Lestrade brought the attention of the crime upon Holmes.
Finally, a student writing about the poem "Sea Fever," by John Masefield, purposely used the words "pacifically," and "unshellfishly" in his paper, noting that he "couldn't resist." It needed mentioning.
J
There are some more classic examples this week from the Department of Stating the Obvious. As always, these are from student papers, names have been withheld to protect the
- Poems are often difficult for some to understand because they always have "deeper meanings."
- Every writer uses different elements in their writing to develop their theme.
- This line conveys extreme imagery. (Totally. It's like the X-games of imagery up in here.)
- Themes of poems have always been the messages that the author tries to get across to the audience. (I'll take note of that.)
- ...killing him on the stop.
- Often times, poems are ways for authors to get a point across about something. (Could you be more vague?)
- The sea allows as star to be navigation while a large ship steers and it is a beautiful sight with mystery. (Is this haiku?)
- Lady Bracknell also bases Cecily on her look.
- The structure of this poem is surely in iambic meter and is a quatrain.
- Mr. Tregennis is a self-contained man.
- Mr. Lestrade brought the attention of the crime upon Holmes.
Finally, a student writing about the poem "Sea Fever," by John Masefield, purposely used the words "pacifically," and "unshellfishly" in his paper, noting that he "couldn't resist." It needed mentioning.
J
5/3/13
The Obvious
I am starting with some random sentences, but then in the second part of this entry is a special collection of sentences from my last stack of College English papers. These sentences were all in introductions, and most of them were first sentences. And they all, one way or another, state the obvious. I hate that... I really do. As always my comments are in ( ).
- The narrator begins to avoid the external situation of her own inner impulses. (Sounds hard to do.)
- She also avoids attempts to avoid people. (Again, tricky.)
- Her mental thoughts... (As opposed to what other thoughts?)
- virgin: new, never expereinced something before i.e. sex, cheeseburger, alternative rock
- The characterization defiantly helps create and add to the story.
- It is causing the wallpaper to smudge and rube off onto her close.
- ...the wallpaper begins to such her in.
And now for the obvious:
- In many stories, authors use literary techniques to make clear their theme or central ideas of a story.
- In any story, long or short, the setting is one of the most important literary elements to develop.
- There are often several characters in fictional short stories that change throughout the story.
- A symbol can affect characters in different ways and can be interpreted differently.
- In many different types of writing symbolism is used to reveal a more complex reality.
- Many authors write in order to expose problems, or try to explain their beliefs regarding society.
- The literary elements an author uses, especially in short stories, often help exemplify the stories meaning and message.
- Symbols are used within literature to represent characters, events, items, or express ideas.
- Almost every story someone reads has an important symbol in it. Each symbol can be interpreted in different ways.
- Symbolism is a very important tool used by all authors because they are able to make a point with only an object.
- In stories the characters are one of the most important things.
- John Steinbeck is an author that has always been known to use symbolism in his writings.
Is it me or could all of those sentences be summed up by saying, "Writers write."
Summer is coming!
J
- The narrator begins to avoid the external situation of her own inner impulses. (Sounds hard to do.)
- She also avoids attempts to avoid people. (Again, tricky.)
- Her mental thoughts... (As opposed to what other thoughts?)
- virgin: new, never expereinced something before i.e. sex, cheeseburger, alternative rock
- The characterization defiantly helps create and add to the story.
- It is causing the wallpaper to smudge and rube off onto her close.
- ...the wallpaper begins to such her in.
And now for the obvious:
- In many stories, authors use literary techniques to make clear their theme or central ideas of a story.
- In any story, long or short, the setting is one of the most important literary elements to develop.
- There are often several characters in fictional short stories that change throughout the story.
- A symbol can affect characters in different ways and can be interpreted differently.
- In many different types of writing symbolism is used to reveal a more complex reality.
- Many authors write in order to expose problems, or try to explain their beliefs regarding society.
- The literary elements an author uses, especially in short stories, often help exemplify the stories meaning and message.
- Symbols are used within literature to represent characters, events, items, or express ideas.
- Almost every story someone reads has an important symbol in it. Each symbol can be interpreted in different ways.
- Symbolism is a very important tool used by all authors because they are able to make a point with only an object.
- In stories the characters are one of the most important things.
- John Steinbeck is an author that has always been known to use symbolism in his writings.
Is it me or could all of those sentences be summed up by saying, "Writers write."
Summer is coming!
J
2/6/13
Man, It's Cold
The title of this post has nothing to do with the content. It's just been REALLY cold. Anyway, thanks to a fellow teacher for taking down some sentences from the Regents exam... I missed the grading. As always, these are sentences from student work, and my comments are in ( ).
- People usually litter because of their own behavior.
- Of the students who drive most are tired and not focused when driving into school.
- Poe... uses literality elements. (What are those exactly?)
- Smoking was band in public places.
- Although I am not a mother myself, nor have I ever had a child... (Just to make that clear.)
- According to the bureau labor of statistics the median annual wage was $86,410 in May of 20110. (Do they have a time machine?)
- Man are often surrounded by gourds of beautiful women.
- Need another sentence can't have a citation at the end of paragraph (In other words, this student made a note to herself and never went back to fix it!)
- The setting of "Of Mice and Men" is in the Silicon Valley. (It's the Salinas Valley, but ok.)
- Lennie wasn't the brightest crayon in the box.
- In Ray Bradbury's "To Kill a Mockingbird," Tob Robinson was accused of rapping a girl." (Where do I even start?)
- The citizens of Maycomb were thrown into a tizzy. (Well, I declare!)
- Curly's wife is very hot, but very trampy.
- So George, being the mature one, killed Lennie.
- Smoking kills around six billion people each year. (Wow. That's a lot!)
- A person who is a vegetarian or vegan also has improved indigestion. (I'll say!)
I am looking forward to February break when I can sit inside and complain about the cold.
J
- People usually litter because of their own behavior.
- Of the students who drive most are tired and not focused when driving into school.
- Poe... uses literality elements. (What are those exactly?)
- Smoking was band in public places.
- Although I am not a mother myself, nor have I ever had a child... (Just to make that clear.)
- According to the bureau labor of statistics the median annual wage was $86,410 in May of 20110. (Do they have a time machine?)
- Man are often surrounded by gourds of beautiful women.
- Need another sentence can't have a citation at the end of paragraph (In other words, this student made a note to herself and never went back to fix it!)
- The setting of "Of Mice and Men" is in the Silicon Valley. (It's the Salinas Valley, but ok.)
- Lennie wasn't the brightest crayon in the box.
- In Ray Bradbury's "To Kill a Mockingbird," Tob Robinson was accused of rapping a girl." (Where do I even start?)
- The citizens of Maycomb were thrown into a tizzy. (Well, I declare!)
- Curly's wife is very hot, but very trampy.
- So George, being the mature one, killed Lennie.
- Smoking kills around six billion people each year. (Wow. That's a lot!)
- A person who is a vegetarian or vegan also has improved indigestion. (I'll say!)
I am looking forward to February break when I can sit inside and complain about the cold.
J
12/13/12
Stumbling Toward Break
Here we go. As always these are from student work and my comments are in ( ).
- Some may say this is drab and dull existence to be to.
- They used salt to preserve the ears instead chemical perseveres.
- When acting upon his actions...
- He had to go on quests that tested his strength and cunningness.
- People who are born in socially will be as achieved as can be.
- It is very insulting to those who have an intitlectually disability. (Spell check at all?)
- (Holmes and Watson) realized that the father was killing his daughters after they were engaged with his snake. (That must be some good looking snake.)
- ...the firearm could back fire and put the hunter's lives in danger. (Hunters have nine lives, I guess.)
- Sherlock displays his soupier intelligence.
- Since the beginning of eternity...
- The poem hints at promiscuity which leads to immorality. (Yes, yes it does.)
- When students dress the way they want to it allows them to dress as they please. (Department of Redundancy Department Award.)
- A physician assistant works manly like most other doctors.
- Most people don't know that facts that it can have on people.
- Music videos have become over sexualized as they portray women in very sensual and suggestive manors. (Oh, those manor houses: so suggestive.)
- After getting caught once driving drink... (Were you, perhaps, writing drink?)
Until next time.
J
10/27/12
It's Almost November?
Wow, time has flown. Without any ado, we'll go straight to the sentences. As always, these are from student work and my comments are in ( ).
- The sun can cause cancer, why is it just cell phones? (Why indeed... wait, what?)
- Half the Franks were on the floor. (She meant "francs," as in French currency.)
- ...she battled cancer, ammonia...
- I said my peace.
- We sent out to walk the gorge trail that fallows close to the river.
- A mother slowly climbed up the latter.
- Acting and lying can affect people in similar ways yet they both can have different result or vice versa. (Covering all the bases.)
- For example, the NRA is a huge group the fund a support the right to carry and counsel a weapon. (1. I hope he doesn't have one; 2. What kind of counseling do guns need? Grief counseling?)
- ...take it for granite. (I wish this was a pun. It wasn't.)
- Ever since past times... (Ah, past times. I remember those days.)
- This is most common with the drug, heroine.
- Also women don't have to worry about getting the judgement about nursing in public.
- The clothes are of a much more conflicting matter to these jobs.
- Ski boots are generally plastic outsides with a soul on the inside. (Oh, my boots have a soul alright.)
- It is common for people to argue that alcohol is so to illegal drugs.
- Hitler instilled paranoia and gave speeches that memorized the people of Germany.
- This definition takes on a greater significance when interoperating the play The Crucible.
- All of these people frustrated John to great heights.
I, too, have been frustrated to great heights... and depths.
J
- The sun can cause cancer, why is it just cell phones? (Why indeed... wait, what?)
- Half the Franks were on the floor. (She meant "francs," as in French currency.)
- ...she battled cancer, ammonia...
- I said my peace.
- We sent out to walk the gorge trail that fallows close to the river.
- A mother slowly climbed up the latter.
- Acting and lying can affect people in similar ways yet they both can have different result or vice versa. (Covering all the bases.)
- For example, the NRA is a huge group the fund a support the right to carry and counsel a weapon. (1. I hope he doesn't have one; 2. What kind of counseling do guns need? Grief counseling?)
- ...take it for granite. (I wish this was a pun. It wasn't.)
- Ever since past times... (Ah, past times. I remember those days.)
- This is most common with the drug, heroine.
- Also women don't have to worry about getting the judgement about nursing in public.
- The clothes are of a much more conflicting matter to these jobs.
- Ski boots are generally plastic outsides with a soul on the inside. (Oh, my boots have a soul alright.)
- It is common for people to argue that alcohol is so to illegal drugs.
- Hitler instilled paranoia and gave speeches that memorized the people of Germany.
- This definition takes on a greater significance when interoperating the play The Crucible.
- All of these people frustrated John to great heights.
I, too, have been frustrated to great heights... and depths.
J
6/23/12
School's Out
Just a couple more sentences and some responses to this year's English 11E Year End Survey. As always, my comments are in ( ).
- Owning a gun comes with great responsibility because people can get hurt or seriously hurt from guns. (They're not deadly though, right?)
- The Red Badge of Courage and "In Another Country" are similar in many parts and different in others. (Insightful.)
...the emotions a soldier may indoor.
- Every novel and work of literature has a theme, some more than others. (I like books with more theme.)
- Each of these interpretations offers a new look and incite upon the play Hamlet.
- ...women are to be daunted upon.
What was your favorite work we read this year and why?
- Huck Finn, it's the only one I read completely. (Thanks for being in our advanced class.)
What was your least favorite work and why?
- Ethan From because you read a huge chapter and one thing happened.
What did you like the least about this class?
- I plead the 5th.
Did your teacher give you enough feedback on papers / tests / journals, etc?
- Yeah you helped me when I asked for it Mr. Chaffee. (Hey, he did ask for it.)
- Yeah, I mean he ripped them apart but explained how he ripped them apart. (Apparently "Yeah" is the new "Yes.")
Do you believe you improved as a writer this year? Explain.
- yes because... never mind. I don't know.
"Bonus:" Is there anything else you'd like to say on any topic whatsoever?
- parties rock (But not capital letters?)
- I like Bonuses!
- Peacocks are beautiful.
I only had ten students in 11E this year. Next year looks to be about the same. Three years ago I had twenty-one... Oh, well; Happy Summer.
J
- Owning a gun comes with great responsibility because people can get hurt or seriously hurt from guns. (They're not deadly though, right?)
- The Red Badge of Courage and "In Another Country" are similar in many parts and different in others. (Insightful.)
...the emotions a soldier may indoor.
- Every novel and work of literature has a theme, some more than others. (I like books with more theme.)
- Each of these interpretations offers a new look and incite upon the play Hamlet.
- ...women are to be daunted upon.
What was your favorite work we read this year and why?
- Huck Finn, it's the only one I read completely. (Thanks for being in our advanced class.)
What was your least favorite work and why?
- Ethan From because you read a huge chapter and one thing happened.
What did you like the least about this class?
- I plead the 5th.
Did your teacher give you enough feedback on papers / tests / journals, etc?
- Yeah you helped me when I asked for it Mr. Chaffee. (Hey, he did ask for it.)
- Yeah, I mean he ripped them apart but explained how he ripped them apart. (Apparently "Yeah" is the new "Yes.")
Do you believe you improved as a writer this year? Explain.
- yes because... never mind. I don't know.
"Bonus:" Is there anything else you'd like to say on any topic whatsoever?
- parties rock (But not capital letters?)
- I like Bonuses!
- Peacocks are beautiful.
I only had ten students in 11E this year. Next year looks to be about the same. Three years ago I had twenty-one... Oh, well; Happy Summer.
J
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