Crucible Papers Are a Crucible

So I have a collection of what I think are heretofore unpublished lines from student papers, quizzes, and tests about Arthur Miller's The Crucible. None can compare to my all time favorite, the paper that was titled: "The Testes of John Proctor." She meant "Tests," or else the paper didn't really deliver on the title. As always, my comments in (    ).

- 7 of her 8 babies died in infantry. (They enlisted young.)
- I have sympathy for Tituba because she is a scrape goat.
- John forgets adultery and this is significant because Elizabeth tried to remind him about irony. (You should always remember irony.)
- (Abigail) is psychologically maladjusted, which causes her to comit crazy behavior.
- Abigail was a huge blame for the unhappy ending.
- Abigail's hope that she with be with John Proctor... is shone brightly.
- "Because it is my mane!" (The Crucible meets The Lion King?)
- In the crucible that test the characters John Proctors patience gets tested. (Right, got it.)
- People are not always quilty. (Uh, guilty?)
- He becomes to be self aware of himself. (Department of Redundancy Department here.)
- John had no self respect for himself. (Yes, Department of Redundancy Department. How may we assist or help?)
- Danforth ask(s) John to confess or to befoul with hell.
- Abigail recalled the physically involved times she spent with John Proctor. (There's a new euphemism.)
- All but one child of hers has died or not lived. (Thank you for calling the Department of Redundancy Department.)
- Elizabeth had trusting issues.
- Abby initially started in the beginning casting spells. (Department of Redundancy Department. How may I direct your sentence?)
- She has the ice of heart to do it.
- John Proctor through out the book showed change through is character.
- John Proctor was a very dense and quiet man.
- ... a wide arrange of characters.
- The trials caused many lives of innocent people to die.
- ... they were discovered dancing in the woods in Rev. Parris' house. (Big house.)
- (Abby) said Elizabeth made a voodoo doll to sabatosh her.

Here is hoping none of you get sabatoshed.

J

For Dumas, Wherever He May Be

A former student asked me via "social media" why I had not posted to this blog in a while. I have no good answer aside from, "I have been lazy." So, for Mr. Dumas, I present my favorite responses from last year's end-of-the-year student surveys. The questions are in bold, and my comments are in (   ). I'll post again soon. I have stacks of essays to grade. If you haven't read a lot of Poe, there may be a spoiler...

What was your favorite work we read and why?

- The one where the ape killed the girls. I was so mad that it was a monkey that was the murderer that I am sure I will never forget that story. Although I can’t remember the name of it. (Lasting impact.)

- The Great Gatsby because it was very interesseting and fun to read. (Interesting is, I think, what we are going for there.)

What was your least favorite work we read and why?

- The one with the monkey because why would there be a monkey? Like who is gonna guess that?

- The Crucible. Twas confusing. (Tis true.)

- The Crucible because Abby ruined it.

- The short stories because they weren’t short.

- The Crucible because it was about whiny teenagers blaming people for things they didn’t do. (Hit too close to home, did it?)

- Everything from the Modernist era because everything from the Modernist era is boring and pointless.

- Ethan Frome was my least favorite work because the book itself angered me. The characters were all pathetic and the story itself annoyed me. However, I have just now realized that I don’t like the characters because they relate to a lot of people in my life. (There's an epiphany for you.)

What did you like most about English class?

- I really don’t like much about this class.(Nothing? Throw me a bone! Something...)

- It was a class of all girls. (See * below)

What did you like least about English class?

* - It was a class of distracting girls.

- The short quizzes downed my grade. (So didn't you're grammer.)

- Quizzes, essays, mostly all the stereotypical disliked things in English.

On a scale of 1-10, how much effort did you put into this class and why?

- 7: I don’t understand a lot of this so I didn’t try very hard. (How very de rigueur.)

- Considering my grades, I’d say a six. (I'd say less.)

- 6; only when I wanted to. (Which was 60% of the time?)

In this class I learned:

- that I cannot get away with murder. (Detective fiction class...)

- everyone has secrets.

- That no matter how careful you are Sherlock could figure out you did it.

- You can live without your phone.

- How to be on topic and off topic at the same time. (It's a skill.)

- Never take out your phone in class.

- To write an essay in a day. (Wrong lesson.)

- I learned how to write a three page essay in a day. (Again, wrong lesson.)

- Mr. Chaffee knows that I edited the format of my papers.

- That college level classes are hard if you don’t show up.

- I have learned not to watch Big & Chunky while working on projects and how important rough drafts are. (I do not want to know what Big & Chunky is. I really don't.)

- That every piece of each novel, story, or poem can be openly discussed. Everything deserves discussion. I also learned how to properly head an essay. (There's two ends of a spectrum.)

 

Do you have any suggestions about how to make the class better?

- Less essays, but we know that ain’t changing. ("Fewer," not "less." And no, it ain't.)

When did your senior-itis kick in?

- The 2^nd day of high school; the first day was pretty chill.

Here's hoping you have more than one "pretty chill" day. Back soon with lines from student papers. I have a lot of essays about The Crucible, which usually produces some hilarity.

J